Jump lead syndrome

X gets in his car one morning and it won’t start. The battery is flat. He needs a new one but the immediate thing is starting the car now. He remembers he saw a chap down the road using jump leads so maybe he can borrow them to get his car started, then he can go and get a new battery. Shouldn’t be a problem.

The chap with the jump leads lives a hundred yards or so down the road. X sets off walking along the pavement to ask if he can borrow them. He doesn’t know him. All he knows is he’s seen him with some jump leads. As he walks along he’s thinking what will happen when he knocks on the door. The chap will say “Sure, I’ll get them.”

Or he comes out and looks down the road to see if there really is a car, then says “Sure, I’ll get them.” After all, he needs to make sure it’s not just someone stealing jump leads. Or maybe he denies he’s got any (he doesn’t want to lend them). Or he wants money. Or he just opens the door and says “Piss off.” Any of these outcomes seems possible — and more — and X is imagining them all as he walks along towards the chap’s house. A chap he’s only ever seen once. He seemed okay then but actually he might be a complete prat, in which case he may as well not even bother asking. Total twathead, this guy.

X finds himself at the twathead’s front door. It’s too late to stop now. He knows the guy will just tell him to piss off so he’s going to get his retaliation in first. The door opens and X says “You know what twathead? You can stuff your f*cking jump leads.”